Don’t Miss the Point of a Milestone: My son Zach graduated high school this week. Like most graduations, there was plenty of discussion about grades, scholarships, and what comes next. Zach is incredibly gifted and will find success in whatever path he chooses. But what makes me proudest is that he is kind, honest, and treats people well. He is a good friend, a great brother, and an incredible son. I am so proud of him. The experience reminded me that milestones can be tricky. We can spend them mourning what is ending instead of cherishing what we had. I slipped into that sadness for a bit before reminding myself how incredible his life has been and how much there is to celebrate ahead. Life moves quickly and the challenge isn’t holding on tighter to what has passed. It’s being grateful for what was, celebrating what is, and looking forward to what comes next. With that approach, my heart is full.
The Case for Doing Nothing…Together: We get so busy. And often confuse motion with progress. One of the best things we can do for a good life may simply be to slow down. There is an epidemic of loneliness and no app, algorithm, or life hack seems able to solve it. I recently started getting this newsletter and it got me thinking about why. One article points out that many Americans already have friends but wish they spent more time with them. Somewhere along the way, friendship became something we struggle to schedule instead of something that is a core part of our lives. We spend hours every day texting, emailing, scrolling, posting, and consuming updates about other people’s lives while struggling to find time to sit on a porch, share a meal, or help a friend with a project. We hear a lot about the epidemic of loneliness. Maybe part of the problem is that we are so busy being busy that we’ve forgotten what really matters.
T-Rex Arms: I have probably spent more time thinking about this than I should, but I have always wondered why Tyrannosaurus rex had those tiny little arms. The animal was over 40 feet long, weighed several tons, and had one of the most powerful bites in history. Yet somehow ended up with arms that were ridiculously small. To put it in perspective, I am 6’2”. If I had T-Rex arms, they would be about five inches long. You see my point? Apparently, there are scientists just as weird as me because they decided to study it. A new paper suggests those tiny arms were an evolutionary tradeoff. As their skulls became larger and more powerful, evolution shifted resources away from their arms. They didn’t need the arms. They needed the head. I get it. But I can’t help wondering if a little more wingspan might have given those dinosaurs enough reach to build a spaceship, put a Bruce Willis type T-Rex on it, and send him after that asteroid. What might have been…
Ice Cream or Yogurt: We are often fixated on little things to improve our health. The frozen yogurt industry touts fewer calories than ice cream, at least until we cover it in crushed Butterfingers. They also tout less fat, but but then we are told fat is actually good for us. Dairy is bad. No wait, dairy is good. You can read the entire breakdown, along with all the studies, and still not be much clearer on which one is actually better. So eat what you prefer. In moderation. Exercise. Spend time with people you care about. Maybe while eating some ice cream. Or yogurt. We recently ordered an ice cream maker and are excited to start making our own. Fresh eggs from our chickens, cream, real vanilla, and blueberries we grew ourselves. Maybe it will make us healthier. But I am know it will make us happier. And it doesn’t take a study to know that is good.
The War Horse: One of the unexpected gifts of the last few years has been writing. For a long time, I wasn’t sure I would ever write openly about some of the experiences that shaped my life. This week, one of my essays was published by The War Horse and, for the first time in my life, an outlet paid me for something I wrote. It’s not the money that means something. It’s the lesson that sometimes the things we are most hesitant to do end up opening doors we never expected. You can read it HERE. Thank you to everyone who has subscribed, shared a post, left a comment, or encouraged me along the way. This new chapter has been more meaningful than I ever expected.
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Have a great weekend.
Nathan
On The Case For Doing Nothing: I JUST spoke with a friend, less than ten minutes before reading this week’s 5. I told her about how, now that I am working on my own stuff, rather than constantly seeking excitement in all of my affairs, I admit I am bored. My inner drugstore, as I’ve heard it called, has been accustomed to finding things to get amped up about. Now there’s an apparent void that I have in the past masked with constant struggle, upset, and self-abandonment in favor of taking on the world to save. Your thoughts on choosing to focus on gentler time spent with the people I really care about is a great pointer in a better direction. And so timely…hmmm…thanks as always. ✌🏻💛🍋
I have always liked and admired you and enjoy reading your comments.